Complicated

I dont want to be stuck in this position, when does it all end? I am such a confused soul. I think about him and how hopeless I really am for believing that there still may be something for the both of us. He was there for everything. Every moment of despair, his presence would bring some comfort to me. I lost the most amazing person to have ever entered my life. I wanted to shield my heart from the pain he caused me, that I let go of him completely. Too bad my heart is broken more than ever, so there goes my futile attempt at protecting myself from being hurt.

May I get out?

There is so much this world has to offer, I don't want to just 'survive', I want to live. I know it sounds very selfish and cliched but I cant not think about the problems engulfing us. It isn't our fault for having daily routines that involve mundane tasks and satisfactory feelings for getting through the day.

Id love to experience a moment of living alone in the middle of nowhere, get my mind to wander aimlessly.