I am not ready yet but, this pushes me like I need to get that. I love nursing but I hate that. And maybe, this is what they call "LOVE"
Sincerely,
Nursing student
Friday 22 July 2016
Monday 1 February 2016
Complicated
I dont want to be stuck in this position, when does it all end? I am such a confused soul. I think about him and how hopeless I really am for believing that there still may be something for the both of us. He was there for everything. Every moment of despair, his presence would bring some comfort to me. I lost the most amazing person to have ever entered my life. I wanted to shield my heart from the pain he caused me, that I let go of him completely. Too bad my heart is broken more than ever, so there goes my futile attempt at protecting myself from being hurt.
May I get out?
There is so much this world has to offer, I don't want to just 'survive', I want to live. I know it sounds very selfish and cliched but I cant not think about the problems engulfing us. It isn't our fault for having daily routines that involve mundane tasks and satisfactory feelings for getting through the day.
Id love to experience a moment of living alone in the middle of nowhere, get my mind to wander aimlessly.
Id love to experience a moment of living alone in the middle of nowhere, get my mind to wander aimlessly.
Saturday 30 January 2016
Monday 21 September 2015
Tuesday 12 May 2015
12/5
Time is flying by so fast lately. It's actually quite scary and I'm now in full blown planning mode
"boooyahhhhhh"
"boooyahhhhhh"
Sunday 21 December 2014
Loving an older man
I made contact with him through Facebook, and at first it was all about "apa khabar?" though when I added him first, I mean the first two hours, we talk talk and talk. Talk of how family quickly led to more intense conversation and by that point I couldn't fool myself any longer about what was really going on, and why I was enjoying this kind of conversation with a man 11 years older than me.
31 years old, such an enormous gap. I knew he should be off-limits to me but that's what appealed. I was drawn to older men and to the romantic. I didn't see it as a brother/sister dynamic, he is a teacher, all right, but not in a brotherly way.
It started innocently enough. We talked and talked for four days. We got on so well, though I found it hard to be myself at first. However cheeky and confident I tried to sound, I felt incredibly young, shy and impressionable. I was curious, aroused, but scared of him, too.
It was him who set up our first meeting, at my house, just before he balik kampung. I spent that night unable to sleep, impatient but anxious, too. I had imagined the whole scene in my head, scenes, gestures, words that should I say to him but all that vanished the moment when he entered my house. He is not handsome at all, but good looking, like someone you would stop and stare at in the street. But what fooled or seduced, I could see in his expression, the desire he seemed to have for me. And so our affair began.
Yet within days I was serious about him and naively thought that what we had could last for ever. At which point, with no explanation, he always want to meet me, call me. He said he wants to marry me. God, I think it's that I feel some kind of affinity for him and I just admire how intelligent he is, the cool things he has done in life. I think the older man is more experienced in all respect, he will give respect to women who he love and share his thoughts, he will be better companion to women. I suppose I've always been attracted to older men.
When my friends were busy swooning over one direction, Zac Efron, I had a crush on Ryan Gosling, Johnny Depp, Channing Tatum and Gerard Butler. Lol
Id just come out of a long-term relationship and we became friends. I found him easy to talk to, mature and honest. In time, I developed feelings for him and luckily he felt the same way about me. At first I worried about what people thought of our relationship, especially my father. Father was a bit wary to begin with, but when father saw how good he is, father gave us his blessing.
As far as I'm concerned, providing we are happy, who cares what the age difference is? I didn't seek out an older man. I just fell for him. As for the age gap, we don't think about it. If people have a problem with it, then it's their problem.
31 years old, such an enormous gap. I knew he should be off-limits to me but that's what appealed. I was drawn to older men and to the romantic. I didn't see it as a brother/sister dynamic, he is a teacher, all right, but not in a brotherly way.
It started innocently enough. We talked and talked for four days. We got on so well, though I found it hard to be myself at first. However cheeky and confident I tried to sound, I felt incredibly young, shy and impressionable. I was curious, aroused, but scared of him, too.
It was him who set up our first meeting, at my house, just before he balik kampung. I spent that night unable to sleep, impatient but anxious, too. I had imagined the whole scene in my head, scenes, gestures, words that should I say to him but all that vanished the moment when he entered my house. He is not handsome at all, but good looking, like someone you would stop and stare at in the street. But what fooled or seduced, I could see in his expression, the desire he seemed to have for me. And so our affair began.
Yet within days I was serious about him and naively thought that what we had could last for ever. At which point, with no explanation, he always want to meet me, call me. He said he wants to marry me. God, I think it's that I feel some kind of affinity for him and I just admire how intelligent he is, the cool things he has done in life. I think the older man is more experienced in all respect, he will give respect to women who he love and share his thoughts, he will be better companion to women. I suppose I've always been attracted to older men.
When my friends were busy swooning over one direction, Zac Efron, I had a crush on Ryan Gosling, Johnny Depp, Channing Tatum and Gerard Butler. Lol
Id just come out of a long-term relationship and we became friends. I found him easy to talk to, mature and honest. In time, I developed feelings for him and luckily he felt the same way about me. At first I worried about what people thought of our relationship, especially my father. Father was a bit wary to begin with, but when father saw how good he is, father gave us his blessing.
As far as I'm concerned, providing we are happy, who cares what the age difference is? I didn't seek out an older man. I just fell for him. As for the age gap, we don't think about it. If people have a problem with it, then it's their problem.
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